Jilly Brandon

• Paddle boarding is my happy place! 
  

   

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  And there came a mighty wind…all at once seemingly out of nowhere, on a warm and sunny day, and I sat on the balcony wondering…how had I not seen this coming?..this upheaval, a disturbance in my perceived calm…I was enjoying the magnificent view of the Front Range and the Rocky Mountain majesty from the comfort of my hotel balcony, when …lo and behold…a crazy…blowing my hairs all over the place type if gale blew in….It caused me to give pause at how this unatural  and annoying breeze was making me feel a direct correlation to my life at present… I had been just living life, rising to it’s challenges,( or so I thought,) finding joy, trying to make the people in my life happy, feel fulfilled….when….boom!..my legs were taken out from under me, and I was layed out…flattened…wondering what the hell had just happened?!……and so I had come away from the commotion of it all….I needed to sit still…yes just sit…(I’m not all proficient at this, unless of course I’m on the toilet,..ok…I know..I’ve said too much.). However as I just rest, and reflect…I am struck by the things that I have forgotten to notice…things like sunshine in a azure blue sky, mountains that stagger, green green grass…the absolute splendor of creation…it’s so magnificent…and the mountain flowers…well…yellows, bright reds, periwinkle purples…how I adore color…had my blinders been on?..perhaps…the person I was made to be has possibly been in the closet I think…I had forgotten to notice…shame on me a thousand times…the spellbinding beauty of my surroundings….

          I look in this photo like I have mastered this paddle board…lol…thank you for the vote of confidence…but I have not.  I have tried this activity in various places, and was able to stand up sucessfully, well..ok..I fell in a few times…however with this particular…and I might add..very cute board…I could scarcely stand up…before jiggling…wiggling..and finally careening off the back…front or side with a screech and a splash!   What was different this time?….I warned my sons before attempting?…..”this board is hard.” I said….”I’m not sure what’s wrong with it?”… I commented.   I was so shocked and irritated when both of them, one right after the other, jumped on…and off the paddle board .yelling backwards…”Mum…what were you saying about this being hard??”…ok…I know…if everyone can master this board than why can’t I?  I stewed…threatened the board, wanted to break the board, and yes…sadly I admit…burn the board, …but I could not, would not…give up on the blasted…much loved board…It gave me pause to realize, like the crazy wind that blows into your life like a  tournado, and threatens to blow your world apart…my inability to find my legs and stand upon the board was the same…I had found myself “out of my element.”…I was illequipped to handle the sitation at hand..Mother Nature had taken over and I was in her clutches….waves…wind…all of it was surely going to conquer me…I was not even a worthy contestant…how had I mistakenly thought otherwise?….makes me smile with embarrassment even to think of it….unexpected hurdles came my way…I thought I was ready…but clearly I wasn’t….so now I wondered?..how to navigate, what I could I do to command a better footing, to understand what I had done wrong..I needed to figure this out amid tears and frustration..how to forge ahead..conquer these obstacles and be better prepared for those winds and waves that were certain to buffet my soul…things I’m pondering from the depths if my being….