The blurred lense….

It felt unseasonably warm the other day.  My tennis shoe broke through the thin layer of ice on the road, to expose a puddle of free flowing water beneath.  Just beneath the surface of ice cold, lay fresh living water.  The contrast of this struck a chord within.

A warm wind from the south I supposed,caused me to lift my eyes heavenward. The sky was an uneventful grey, scattered with many clouds.  On the mountain range, there was swirls of white, so it appeared the air was cold in the high country, and experiencing some snow squalls.

It is a new year, all fresh, and potentially hopeful, but there is much inside of me, that is hesitant to see the hope.  It has been a grouping of losses, and deaths that are at the forefront of my mind.  My lashes drip with water, and the tears run freely down..down..down.

I am so struck, and inspired by the memorial service that I attended less than a week ago.  It was for a young woman, Julia Bayer.  She was just 28 years old, when her time to shine on this earth, and grace us with her presence reached its pinnacle, and she passed from her loved ones hearts to enter her eternal home of heaven.

To say that she loved well, would be a gross understatement.  She lived exceptionally, and with such courage and abundant life, that to hear others testify of her life inspired us all to live  life like that.

It would seem that to love well when you have your health, and unlimited possibilities ahead, would be expected…there is so much promise in that, but to live out loud and with purpose when you are diagnosed with terminal cancer as a young person… Well this is extraordinary.

Julia’s story bares reparating time and again.  This girl shone with a brilliance that could only be otherworldly.  She blogged all through her illness, and her Memorial service is well worth watching.  I love so many things about this amazing young woman, and how she focused her life on telling others about her Jesus.  “Figure out for yourself who you think Jesus is.  Read the book of John.”

In many ways, beginning this year with a memorial seems so fitting .  Life is so precious, and can be so short.  It is a good thing to be aware of this, and to not live life in a wasteful way.  Loving people with intention and honesty changes us all for the better.

We are all here on this planet for a reason.  We have a divine destiny.  Our lives can get so convoluted with the mundane, and I’m thinking….(speaking purely for myself,) that if we are not present in each moment, life and its potential can slip by, and be over while we are wishing for it to be more better, or more perfect.

What does the wishing for something get us?  If we don’t act, or if we are afraid to change, then there is the probility that we could miss out on our lifes’ purpose.  That seems tragic to me.

So often there are things that occur in our lives that just take the breath out of a person.  Death, divorce…moving.  These are my things right now.  This is not where I would have pictured my soon to be 51 year old self.  This was not my dream,and surely this can’t be my destiny?

I’m wondering what comes next?  Since I don’t really have a clear cut intuition or vision of what that is, I’m just choosing to  be in the today of it all.  It can be scary…the unknown, the abyss…but I’m not going to live in is so pointless, and it debilitates the soul.

The wind up around the lake churned up, and the geese flew off in a mad flurry.  Then there he was, out of the corner of my eye….the majestic bald one.  I gasped in utter delight, as he soared with effortless majesty into the summit of the darelect tall leafless tree.  The hawk that had been rousting there took off in a panic.  This hawk knew that the king of the air was in residence, and this tree was no longer his.

i couldn’t believe my eyes.  I squinted to see him amongst the grey bark, and then just moments later, off he took, and his white head glistened proudly, his yellow curved beak, and razor sharp talons hung menacingly from the air.  His dark wings expanded effortlessly, and up..up..up he soared.  I was completely mesmerized by his beauty.

My eyes followed him as far as I could, and I realized this guy was a gift for me.  I have walked around this lake countless times thought this last year, and many years before, and this is the first bald eagle in full and glorious flight that I have ever seen in this area.  Such a remarkable treat.

It enthused my heart.  “You will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all of your heart.” Jeremiah 29:13.

Usually when I’m walking along this path,  my eyes become focused on the rough terrain at my feet, and occasionally I look at the lake, enjoying the wildlife.  I do look up, but I never expected to see the master of the air to give me a show such as this.  It was fantastic… I was speechless,…which I never am, and I’m sure my jaw was agape as I stared with unashamed wonder of this spectacular sight.

The entire lake was eerily quiet as this mighty predator was in the air, and it was apparent that all the wildlife knew with instinct to have the utmost respect and “Godly fear” for this creature.

I couldn’t help it….I was giddy with delight, that this experience had graced my life.  When you are in a relationship with the King of heaven and the earth, He delights to “show off,” and bless his children with the wonders of creation.  This gets me plenty excited.

In a week when I’m shutting the door on certain things of my past, and mourning what was, I am also going to choose to move forward one broken high heeled shoe step  at a time.

Sometimes the footwear that I decide on will be inappropriate, and too high, but there will be some times when flip flops just work, and hiking boots are the thing.

I will definitely not always make the right choices, but I will still look for the promise in today….in the next moment…. I will be expectant.

I’m so thankful for this eagle, and for Julia’s testimony of hope.  It matters so much what we focus on.  She focused on Jesus…period.  Her life shone forth like the brightest of suns…Such a legacy to grace us all with.

What comes next..I do not know…but I know He still holds my hands, and He will not let go…that’s His promise, and I’m choosing to put my hand securely in His.




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