Jilly Brandon

Small thoughts, can often turn into bigger deeds if we pursue them.  This seems to be a choice that we can make.

It can be a negative flitting of sorts that interrupts our brain waves, and can sometimes drag us deep into a dark abyss of frustration before we are even conciously aware of it.

How to control our thought processes?  Is there a way to guide these random ideas that creep in, and take control of them before they take control of us?

I’ve become especially captivated of late of practicing this very thing.The choosing of turning a negative exchange in my synapses, into that which can turn into a positive thought outcome.

Sleep patterns, as I age seem to be sporadic and disjointed at best.  My clarity of thinking seems to be the most clear at 2:30 in the morning.  I’m not sure why this is.  Perhaps it’s the collection of thinking that has taken place during the day, must somehow need to burst out in the dark hours of the incoming dawn, and demand that I reconcile with them before a new day begins?

I sit alone by the fire on a chilly Fall morning, and it’s so cozy here .The fuzzy sheepskin surrounds my backside, as I rest on the cornflower blue leather recliner.  There is a steaming mug of hot coffee, flavored with cinnamon on my left, and a snoring 10 year old beagle by the hearth on my right.

The simple things….Our routines, the little gifts that we give ourselves daily that make all of the difference for our happy meter.

I think back on many other Thanksgivings before this one, and my heart smiles, and aches at the same time.  “Joy and sorrow mingling,” comes to mind.  Our memories both torture and comfort us. Such as it seems to mean to be fully human, and truly alive.  It is the black and white of heart matters that forms our existence.  Something is gained, while at the same time, something is lost.  Something dies, while something new is birthed.  Both processes seem to bring a kind of a mixed bag of suffering and joy.

I am melancholy with hope, as I anticipate this next Thanksgiving Day.  If meloncholy and hope would seem to be polar opposites, I would readily agree with you..  Yet…somehow, this is fitting for right now.

It is said that love and hate are very closely linked together, and perhaps only a thin hair really separates them.  I have found that this is true.  I hate death, but I love life, even with the many nuances that life brings, and the finality that death makes us face, the two are completely intertwined.

I can get stuck there in “the mourning game,” and it is not a place where I want to  live fully.

Even though death is a integral part of life, we as human beings, shy away from this reality any way that we can.  We say, ” all I want is to be happy,” or more dominantly, ” I deserve to be happy,” but what does this really mean?

Does one persons’ supposed happiness take precedence over another’s?  This does not make sense at all to me.  How can your happiness supercede that of someone else?  I can’t be happy if that means that somebody that I love is not.

Thinking on the thankful things that we have in this life, is therefore the thing.  The requiring of another human being to make you happy is a fallacy, and an impossible pursuit.  It is too much to require someone else to fill up your “happiness meter.”  It is up to you to be in pursuant of your own peaceful and joyful state of mind.

“It is what we focus on, that becomes us.”  I have found, in my own limited experience, that concentrating on what I have, rather than what I do not have, to be a basic formula to create a contented state within myself.

The furnace that kicks on with a steady flow of warm air, the fireplace that gives a brilliant cast of glow to the living room, the coffee in my cup, the fresh water flowing from my tap, the toilet in my bathroom, and the food filling up my fridge…are but a few of the blessings.  Then there is the roof over my head, the car in my driveway…and the kids that come and fill up the house with laughter that fill my cup to overflowing.

I must not forget to mention another glorious sunrise that brings hope to the day.  People in your life are some of the very best things to be thankful for. These dear folks that inhabit our lives daily, bring us such joy and love and companionship.  Making them feel happy and well loved completes my heart.

When  some of these dear ones leave your life, and pass on into the loving arms of Jesus, it is with a deep sorrow, but also a heart full of thanksgiving that we remember them .  They impacted our lives, and living without them is not a simple task.

There will be empty chairs at our table this year, and there will be bittersweet thoughts of Thanksgivings’ past that can threaten to crush my spirit, but I cannot, and will not allow for this.

Thanksgiving was always a time for  our family to participate in watching movies, playing board games, eating big bowls of popcorn, and late night talks.  In one word, tradition.  These holiday festivities that I would look forward to each year with great and eager anticipation were always enjoyed with much gratefulness of heart.

There was often random football games thrown together with multiple friends, and played in parks,or on high school football fields.  Sometimes kids came home barfing, and the carefully laid plans for turkey became a Gatorade fiesta and pedialyte extravaganza, spent nearby the bathroom, and everyone laying claim to their own couch for the day.

My son Logan reminded me the other day of this very thing.  He said, “Mum, I hate Halloween and Thanksgiving…I always get sick!”  It was true, he was sick this past week, so I’m hopeful that I can remind him, that flu has already occurred, and could not happen again this year…Bam!…no sickness, and /or puking epidodes shall happen this year.  Sickness can just well….you know…get lost!

Wouldnt it be so wonderful to be able to banish all hate, unhappiness, unkindness, and hunger from our world?  If only….If only we cared enough to “practice what we preach” and be the difference that we want to see in our world.  How different our lives could be if we were motivated by love and trust, instead of my hate and mistrust?

I know, I know…I’m only one person..but one, becomes two, and so on, and so forth.  We are without excuse.  I’m no motivational speaker, but if we truly knew the power that lies within each and every one of us to elicit true and lasting change, how differently we would live.

It is apparent to me, that change is uncomfortable.  We are so accustomed to living in the what has been, that we cannot even see the possibility of what could be, would be… I felt like I was falling into “Dr. Seuss” type writing right then..”could I , would I in a boat, I would not, could not with a goat.”  He was brilliant with his words.  They make me smile, and bring happiness whenever they pop into my head.

I am thankful for today, for the hope of a new and different Thanksgiving day tomorrow, but I will cherish deep in my heart the festivities of the past often spent in Oregon with dear loved ones, going to “Oregon Ducks” football games, tailgating in “The Loaf,”(Dwayne and Jen’s RV,) and spending time with family.

The whipped cream and chocolate pie fights, Dwayne on the leaf blower, Holly bringing the turkey covered with lots of beach towels to stay warm, Paul mashing the potatoes, and lest we forget, Grandma Jackie saving the remnants of the turkey carcass to make turkey soup.  From “gluten free” brownies, to “seven layered salads,” courtesy of  Janelle, warm and wonderful prayers, football watching , and loads of decadent desserts, I am richly blessed, how about you?

It is with a heart full to the brim with thanksgiving, that I wish much happiness and joy to my loved ones near and far, celebrating the season, and with a grateful heart I am most thankful to my King Jesus, and all that He sacrificed for me….yes for this I am the most humbled……a love given freely that will not ever  let me go.