Jilly Brandon

Say it slowly..let it rest upon your tongue, and breathe with the word…refresh..meant…Then take a couple of slow breaths,in through  the nose, and out through the mouth.  Rest awhile, and close your eyes, and let your mind go gently to the sounds of nature that surrounds you.

The quiet rhymic flow of a babbling brook, the sweet, cool morning air, with scents of pine, and fresh flowers…

 

 

When the word is divided up, it is refresh and meant, and it occurs to me that it is meant for us, to lighten our load, to lay down our burdens for a time or two, and just be.. I’m wondering why we don’t take the time to do this for ourselves?

Our lives are engrossed with busy ness and our bodies become so tired out, that we can’t even see the thing that is right in front of us… Why does it seem that the last thing we want to do is rest?

Everyone can probably remember being a little kid, and your Mom or Dad would say the dreaded word, after lunch time perhaps…”ok..it’s nap time.”  As a child you would cringe when you heard that word, because it meant that you had to lay still in your bed, and often not sleep….

As an adult of sorts now, we relish the idea of a nap, and it feels like a hidden handful of delectable candy treats, when you get to escape and take a nap.  I don’t think there is a grown up out there who doesn’t delight in the respite of sleep.

I remember as a young girl, when my Nanny would lay down for a ” wee rest,” as she would call it, after a busy morning of baking bread…my mouth salivates as I think of her baking, and she would curl up on her tweed couch, and in a moment,  be fast asleep.

 

Her rest might only be for about 10 minutes, then she would open her bright eyes, retrieve her ” cat eye” glasses, smile, and stand from her resting place, enthused, and joyfully go about her next duties refreshed and energized.

 

This example of refreshment often comes to mind when I allow myself permission to rest.  She was a great example to me of a joyful life lived in oh so many ways.

 

Her baking was legendary…and this basket of deliciousness was left outside my door early last evening, at the B and B in Evergreen, Colorado.  It’s a delightful little spot called “Alpine Way Chalet.”  I felt like it was the same basket that “Little red riding hood” might have taken to her grandmother, while skipping through the woods.

We won’t meantion the “big bad wolf” that was waiting for her, instead of her grandmother.  It’s such a terrifying story when I think on it now.   After all hadn’t the wolf eaten her grandmother , and was now resting in the bed dressed in drag, as the grandmother, waiting to devour red riding hood for dessert??….Yikes, this story is a horror movie!

As with many of the “childrens’ tales” that many of us have grown up with, there is a terrifying, and somewhat evil villain in each of them.  Goldilocks falling asleep in the house of the three bears…are you seriously kidding me, why was this little girl in the woods on her own, and why were the Bears living in a house?  Was this little girl on medication of sorts, that made her fall asleep in little Bears’ bed?

If you wonder why I’m not a big fan of camping, this is why?.. Plus I can say that I don’t really relish the idea if getting into bed with a bear..um..no thanks..not for me..I don’t wish to be dinner for the wildlife.

 

Many of these stories hold a  far deeper  meaning than I had originally thought.  I may have a nightmare or two this evening if I ponder them for too long.

I remember my own children being terrified of some of the “Disney” villains while they were watching movies… Who can forget the evil sea witch in ” The Little Mermaid?” she was straight up a whole lotta ugly ,and that laugh still makes me cringe when I hear it.

Logan, my son had all the characters, as bath  toys, and when we originally bought the toys, we promptly threw “Ursula, the sea witch” in the trash where she belonged. I mean, who wants to take a bubble bath with her?   Creepy X 10!

Last evening some Mamma elk and a couple a twins wandered into the yard.  It was awesome.  Since I appear to be reminiscing about cartoons, this  reminded me of Bambi, and yes, I know that Bambi was a deer people, but just go with me for a moment.  Bambi was all happy and wonderful, until she lost her Momma, and there was a terrible fire in the forest.

I am thinking that these cartoons dealt rather expertly with the tragedy of life.  One just feels like you are just joyfully, absentmindedly gliding through life, then Smack, out of nowhere, your life is hijacked, and something, or more importantly, someone you love is gone..they die…they leave you, and you feel alone, and you cry your eyes out.

You  desperately want to go back, to redo, to reglimpse, to re hold, re kiss, re love the one who is gone….but you can’t, and this is devastating.

9 months in a few days… She is gone.  I search for her in the whispers of the wind, in the birds chattering, in the baby elk that come into my path.  This separation from her can be all consuming at times

Its in the moments, that I rest, I refresh, that the memories flood my brain, and my heart cascades inside itself.  This can be a reason why maybe a person doesn’t want to rest.  The thoughts come, the memories are so there, and you are bare, and impossibly taken back to the missing of  a person.

My world has changed, as so many of our worlds do, when we are forced to say our good byes to our loved ones.  So many thoughts from last summer, her last summer.

My son Logan is on a mission to put our old family movies, plus homemade “fun movies” that the kids and their friends acted in, onto DVDs, so that we may preserve them, and watch them again.  I so..get it…This is all we have left, these are our memories, of youth, of family, of joyful times shared.  They are sacred and precious.  They are our cartoons, our Disney movies, before the evil Ursula of death came calling.

But just as death is surely a big part of life, and one that cannot be avoided, it is with new fresh hope that the morning comes again, and with that..renewal, refreshment, a chance to live differently, see blessings pour out in front of you…but only if you have eyes to see, that want to take it all in, that look for the signs.

 

Let my eyes be wide open Lord, I don’t want to miss a thing….speak to me through the cheery chirping of the birds, the sun peaking through the leaves on the trees, the doves cooing their gentle message of light in the distance.  Let me tell how you make my heart glad, how your promises enrich me, and coax my heart to ever turn towards you…you complete me, and I am ever thankful for that.

Make my heart new, cause it to expand with a love and enclusiveness, that it bursts forth, and pours your love out to all those whose paths I cross…you are my King, and I love you.